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That’s my professor commented:
This story is interesting, but it does not show where
you stood up for something OR did not stand up for
something. All I see is that you played well in a game.
This essay is better titled, “The Happiest Moment” and not
“A Moment that I Stood Up for Something.”
Please proofread carefully. There are MANY
grammar/mechanics and sentence structure errors in this
draft. Consider this sentence from your first paragraph:
When it come to playing sports,| would rather miss a
game but dont get injured it was my sophmore year
of high school, I had a playoffs game at lincoln high
school

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